Meet Cute

Meet cute-- it’s what they call that moment in the romantic comedy when the two characters are brought together by the universe in some charming way.

 

The meet cute with my husband is not so much cute as it is slutty. But that’s how all of the best fairy tales start. 

 

It starts with me sitting alone on my brand-new, pink velvet couch contemplating what exactly is my next move in life. Forty years old, recently divorced, in the middle of a pandemic with the world shut down. Lonely and extremely horny. Should I join Tinder? Seems impossible to trust strangers to take the pandemic seriously when I am immune compromised. What about Raya? Were they accepting recent divorcées? Sigh. 

 

Scrolling Facebook would have to do. I immediately saw his profile. He was wickedly handsome and funny, too. We had met several times over the years, as we both practiced law. He always had the best hair, smile and suit in the courtroom. He was an effortlessly effective attorney with a reputation for winning every case, which was incredibly sexy. He had spent his time in quarantine making comedic videos that I found myself laughing at. Smart, sexy, long flowy dark hair, successful and charming. Plus, he had passed the character fitness portion of the bar exam, and they probably did a more thorough background check than I ever could. What did I have to lose?

 

I did what any self-respecting millennial woman would do, slid into his DMs. Okay, not exactly, I was too scared to do that. I stalked his profile for a solid hour trying to ascertain whether he still had a girlfriend. It had been a while since he posted any pics with her. I decided on the next best thing and slid into his best friend’s DMs. 

 

S: “Hey, I hope you are well. Just curious if J has a girlfriend? I think he is really cute.”

BF: “He doesn’t anymore, just went through a serious breakup though, what exactly are you looking for?”

S: “Some dick 😬 I am freshly divorced and just moved into my own house. I need to get laid and have some fun.”

BF: “Ok, that’s perfect. He’s not in the market for anything serious either and is a bit of a playboy. As long as you are cool with that, I will reach out to him.”

 

My heart soared. Did I just do that? I slipped into a hot bubble bath and dreamed of our first date, how his lips would feel on mine. I went to sleep with a head full of possibilities and a heart full of hope. 

 

I woke up to a message in my inbox from J.

 

J: “I know you’re a big time model these days, but if you ever wanted to do some low budget film work, I could use some star power for my videos” (Side note, around that time I was featured in a local magazine, he must have seen my Insta)  

S: “The super model thing is a side gig. I much prefer beating men like you in court.”

J: “Well since court is closed would you consider a different venue? It has been a while since I have seen you though, and I have to ask-- are you still married?”

S: “Are we still talking about litigating? Haha. I am recently single and very ready to mingle.”

J: “Lol, well, I am flattered that you thought of me. I wish I could take you to my favorite restaurant, but nothing is open. Want to come to my place for a drink on Sunday?”

S: “I would really enjoy that.” 

 

I smiled a stupid smile that lit up my whole being. He was charming and cute. The banter was flirty and fun, we immediately clicked. I couldn’t wait for our first date. 

 

On Sunday, the weather reflected my nervousness. Thunder rolled through the air like the tension rumbled in my belly. What if he didn’t like me? What the hell do you talk about on a first date? He is five years younger than me, what if I am too old? What if he was secretly an axe murderer? What if I didn’t remember how to kiss someone else?! My mind raced with possibilities as I drove through the rain to his condo. I pulled up to a swanky high rise. It was beautiful and clearly expensive. There was gorgeous furniture next to a grand marble fireplace that lit up the building’s foyer; I felt warm and welcome. The door man buzzed his apartment, but J was already coming off the elevator to greet me with a smile.

 

He swept me up in a hug that made me feel as though I had known him my whole life. Our chemistry was electric from that first touch. I buzzed with anticipation as we rode the elevator up to his floor. 

 

He opened the door to his condo and my jaw hit the floor. It was impossibly stunning. Floor to ceiling windows curved around the unit revealing panoramic views of the city skyline. Herringbone hardwood floors lead me into the living room which was adorned with a leather sofa in a deep chestnut tan. It felt like butter on my bare legs. The room was dimly lit with candles and the soft glow of two modern lamps on either side of the sofa. He offered me a drink and a blanket, noticing the goose bumps on my legs. I declined both-- I don’t drink and the goose bumps were from raw excitement, not cold. 

 

He offered me a la Croix in a wine glass instead. 

 

J: “Well, my entire plan was to give you a glass of wine, get into that mind of yours to see what makes you tick. Now I guess we just have to do this the old-fashioned way with truth or dare.”

 

I laughed and agreed that truth or dare was a great way to start the evening. 

 

J: “Truth or dare?” He challenged.

 

S: “Dare.” I accepted without hesitation.

J: “I dare you to kiss me.”

I smiled a slyly and leaned in. Soft and gentle, his lips held mine for a moment and let go, letting me decide what the next move should be. 

 

I was so consumed with our chemistry, that I doubled down and leaned into it. I pressed my tongue into the kiss and we began passionately making out. He pulled me up onto his lap. I could feel his hard dick pressing against my pelvis. I rubbed my weight against his throbbing dick. I couldn’t wait for the feeling of his cock pushing inside me. 

 

It was clear that we both wanted, no needed, this intimacy. It felt like we had done this a hundred times before. I couldn’t place this familiarity with this almost stranger, but it made me feel comfortable enough to take charge.

 

“I want to feel you inside of me,” I whispered into his ear as he kissed my neck. He locked eyes with me as he unzipped his pants and took his cock out. It was bigger than I expected and I smiled with anticipation. 

 

He slid his fingers into me first. Feeling me pulse with excitement as he pushed them in deeper and deeper. He pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. He slowly pushed his way inside of me. I melted when it was finally all the way in, lighting me up with pleasure. I started slow, then pushed him harder and deeper inside of me. I was still on top of him, his arms wrapped around my waist as he thrust into me. He picked me up and flipped me over, with his dick still inside of me. Thrusting as hard as he could, I could feel my body getting closer to climax, the tension building and the pleasure mounting. Suddenly my body gushed with pleasure as I squirted all over him and his gorgeous couch. 

 

I was mortified and confused. I had never squirt before. He pressed on, unfazed and even more aroused that I had just cum so hard. He pumped harder and faster until he hurriedly pulled his throbbing cock out of me and exploded in pleasure all over my stomach. 

 

We lay on the bed in exhausted satisfaction. 

 

“I don’t normally do that. I am so embarrassed and so sorry,” I whispered.

“Sorry?! That was amazing what are you sorry about?” 

“I got cum all over your couch.” 

“Well, the leather needed to be seasoned anyways, and I can’t think of a better way to do so.” He smiled and kissed me. 

 

Relieved, I sunk into his arms that already felt like home. 

“Why don’t we take this to the bedroom so we can do my favorite thing.”

“That wasn’t your favorite thing?” I teased.

“No, this is.” J said as he scooped me into his arms and carried me into bed. 

 

We fell into the bed and landed in a puddle together. He positioned me into the nook of his arm and wrapped himself around me. I could see why this was his favorite. But I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea about what I wanted. As we spooned in a post-coital glow I quietly confessed, “I don’t think I can ever do monogamy again. I tried it for a long time and was never really, truly satisfied. It felt like I was lying to a big part of myself. I want to have sex with other people.” 

 

“Oh shit. Okay. This is a problem,” he replied.

My heart sank, because I liked him and the evening had been perfect thus far. 

“Now I have to date you because you are perfect,” he finished. 

I laughed nervously, “Are you serious?”

“Yes, completely. I have never been able to be monogamous and the only way to fulfill those other desires was to cheat. Which never feels good beyond the physical pleasure.”

 

I understood completely and knew that he was serious. I also knew that I was in trouble. How the hell was I falling for a guy I had spent 34 minutes with, 14 of which we had spent cumming together?! Was this real life? 

 

I laughed and agreed, “Well, you are right, this is a problem. We definitely have to give this a shot then.” 

 

A knowing grin pierced his beautiful face and he pulled me into him again, kissing me so passionately I forgot to breathe for a moment. And we spent that first night together just like that. 

Kissing and fucking and talking, all night long. 

 

At the end we had concluded two things:

 

1. We were really fucking compatible. 

 

2. We would embark on an ethically non-monogamous sexual adventure together. He would be my guide, empowering me to explore my sexuality and fulfill my every desire. 

 

And just like that, we were us from that day forward. The stories I am about to share with you are from the epic adventure we have been on since our meet cute. Happily ever after, fucking our way through life, while wearing the perfect shoes. The result is the most salacious non-fiction fairytale you could dream of.  I hope you come along for the ride. 

 

XOXO,

Sydney

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